Selected letters from past columns:
Things Keep Falling Through
Dear Grace: Lately, it seems that there is a pattern of things falling through. Helpful people come into my life, and then poof! their offers of help/collaboration disintegrate like a mirage. Now, when something seems like a good possibility, I have trouble really believing it will happen and I feel like there will be self sabotage based on recent experiences. It happens in a small way as well, such as trying to contact someone via email. I don't hear back from them. When I am able to reach them via phone I ask if they got my email and they say they didn't! What is going on? Clara
Dear Clara: First, in looking at your energy field, I am inviting a clearing of old beliefs.
Second, it is important to strengthen new patterns. Be attentive to your language. Anytime you start a sentence with "I am," you are creating your experiences. "I am grateful for ____" is a powerful transition tool into "happening" as you desire.
Mentioning gratitude brings up a wave of resistance in you, related to negative religious experiences. I want you to invite white light to surround you as you take a few deep breaths with an emphasis on long exhaling.
What is going on? You have done good work to develop habits of responsible collaboration with the Universe. To fully anchor those new habits, apply gratitude and then have fun with "I am." Examples: I am delighted with my new friends. I am happy about these new possibilities. I am resilient. Grace
Depression
Dear Grace: I have clinical depression. I take an antidepressant (& Vitamin D, with our long winter). Is there anything I can do from an energy perspective to alleviate depression symptoms? Charlene
Dear Charlene: One person who is depressed will have a different energy configuration from another person who is depressed. For your energy system to rebalance to minimize challenges with low energy, low motivation, decreased attention span and concentration, the following is suggested:
Know that you don't easily fit what you perceive as the norm.
You would benefit from having a personal definition of success. For example, success for you may be choosing alignment with qualities you are asked to embody: Joy, Compassion, and Love. Success for you may be about following your intuition in creating (whether it is creating a meal, a piece of art, a unique career, or an interesting day).
Physical activity is crucial for you to release stagnant energies and build vibrancy. Choose at least one group and one solo physical activity, and gently increase your time and/or intensity. Know that this will take more time than you think it should, and consider it a powerful investment in your quality of life and your ability to help others. Grace
Dear Grace: Even in the midst of my life going very well, there is a piece of me that still feels pulled by that shadow side of depression and it seems to take a lot of energy to "resist" it. Any insight? Catrin Dear Catrin: Think about that pull toward depression as being 10% your own "stuff" and 90% related to the experience of other people. Your experience is magnified by your sensitivity to the experience of others--this has been increasing for you. The best antidote is to say a prayer for all who are affected by depression, that each person would have exactly what they need in this moment. Often this simple prayer will lift the burden you feel, and lighten your own part in it.
Regarding the piece (of depression) that is your own, it is related to your being pulled off-center at your solar plexus. To strengthen your solar plexus, imagine you have a sun in this area. Imagine this sun becoming bigger and brighter, and filling your field with your own bright essence. If you make this a part of your daily routine, you will soon feel a stronger sense of your self. Grace
Parenting
Dear Grace: I gave birth to my daughter and raised her to love herself and God, but as a teenager she turned to drugs and sexual encounters to fill a void. I tried everything I knew to show her how much I loved her: prayer, counseling, treatment, etc., but the drugs and self hate seem stronger than any prayer. I have had to distance myself from her emotionally as she has distanced herself from me physically, but my heart still aches for her. What can I do to help my daughter (now in her 20’s) overcome her addictions and learn to love and forgive herself? I would love to have a relationship with my daughter again. Mothers tend to have a heart connection with their children that never seems to go away. It is different than the bonds that we have with our friends and spouses. Is there a reason that we feel more attached to them? Is it because they chose us? Julie
Dear Julie: I am so sorry for your heartache, and I honor your steadfastness. It is often hard for a parent to find a balance in loving their adult child. Transition times can be rich in opportunity and in discomfort.
Sometimes the anger of an adult child is about their trying to break the cords that bind them to their parents, to cut loose, to experience freedom. The best response of a parent is to honor them as adults. If you have to expend energy on the situation, use your energy to examine your own stance. Ask yourself whether YOU may have a need to hold on to the parent/child dynamic. The parent/child dynamic is useful when the child is unable to choose safe behavior. This is different from an adult choosing unsafe behavior.
The intensity of the mother/child bond causes many a mother to shy away from fully releasing the child. When a woman is pregnant, there comes a time when an unborn child clamors to come out and the mother is needed to push. In a similar way, an adult child may clamor to be set free while needing the mother/parents to push. Just as childbirth is not necessarily a quiet and controlled process, there may be noise and mess and discomfort that accompany the breaking of the energetic cords that connect the child and parents. It is another great big act of love to believe in her adulthood. You might experiment with writing her a letter along the lines of “I believe in your adulthood. I release you to make your choices. I believe in your adulthood. I invite you to align with the truth.” You might speak these aloud to her. You will know when it is appropriate to send a letter or speak in person . . . or to write and speak “from a distance.” You may want to experiment with having a “holy talk” with your daughter, sitting in a quiet place with an “empty” chair across from you. Imagine your daughter is in this chair, and tell her what you appreciate about her. Tell her about your belief in her adulthood. Tell her you are open to receiving gifts from her. Tell her about how you love her so much that you are releasing her into learning from her choices. Certainly, the two of you chose each other. Thank her for the things she taught you. Is she the being that pulled out of you a stronger voice, a deeper reservoir of patience, a bigger love, than you ever imagined you could hold? Bless you both! Grace
Is there something I should be doing?
Dear Grace: After having a miserable decade in my 20s, I am now almost 40, happily married, have great kids, a wonderful home life and I am happy. I have a somewhat fulfilling job. I appreciate everything good in my life and thank my Angels, guides, god and the universe everyday for my wonderful life. However I feel there is a small piece of the puzzle missing, and I’m not sure what it is. Is there something I should be doing? Involved in something? Helping someone? Strengthening my own spirit or spiritual traits? Etc. Can you help? Thank you! Maureen Dear Maureen: What your energy system is showing me is that your life purpose is pulling you to spread your “good vibrations.” Continue to notice those things that bring you joy, and put more energy into them. This raises your vibration level, and gives others an opportunity to match your higher vibration.
You would also benefit from visualizing more opening in your crown chakra (top of your head) and heart chakra (midchest), and inviting your Soul more deeply into your body. We are in a time of a heightened need for embodiment. At times, we mistakenly invest a disproportionate amount of our energies in the spiritual realm, forgetting that we have chosen to be in the human experience at this time. Bringing our spiritual practices back into the physical creation is a more balanced approach. How to do this? By being kind to our feet, so key to our physical existence on Earth. By spending time in nature. By enjoying the food we eat. By appreciating how the sunlight catches one of the flowers in the garden. By noticing the birdsong. Enjoy! Grace
Third eye
Dear Grace: What can I do to open my third eye? Terry
Dear Terry: When people ask that question, they usually are interested in improving their intuition. Opening your third eye might give you more sensory information, but opening your third eye alone doesn't help you to discern the meaning of the information or provide you with the stability to deal with the extra information. So I will answer your question differently than you might expect.
The first step is to strengthen your ability to "ground" your energy. This is about connecting to or plugging in to the supportive energy of the planet Earth. The earth has a pulse of electromagnetic waves, called Schumann waves, which pulse at a rate of 7.83 cycles per second. One study measured the brain waves of healers around the world while they were doing healing work. The brain wave patterns of these healers were all 7.8-8 Hertz (hertz = cycles per second). Not only did healers have the same frequency as the Earth, but they synchronized with the phase of the Schumann waves. Their brains pulsed at the same rate and at the same time as the pulsing of the Earth (Light Emerging, Brennan, 1993).
Being grounded improves coherence, focus, and clarity. Grounding supports balanced energy for the practitioner of intuition. In my observation of intuitive practitioners, their knowledge and skill in grounding has a strong correlation to the integrity of their work.
So your next question might be "how do I ground my energy?" One effective technique is to visualize yourself as a tree, with roots going down deep into the Earth. Open the tips of the roots to release any stress and then to receive nourishing Earth energy, all the way up into the trunk of your tree. Another way of grounding your energy is to pay attention to the lower part of your body, perhaps being grateful to your feet, your ankles, your legs, and your root chakra. And some people find it useful to carry a small rock in their pocket. to remind them of their connection to the Earth. There are stones, such as hematite, obsidian, lodestone, tiger's eye, and smoky quartz, that specifically support root chakras and grounding energy. Last, one of the simplest ways to ground your energy is to say, aloud or silently, "I am grounded." Our energy follows our thoughts, so giving ourselves a direct, simple statement is an effective way to align our energy with a grounded state.
I ask my clients and students to ground their energy daily. The next step in receiving intuitive information is to focus on the physical body. Intuitive information comes through all of the senses and through all of the chakras, including the brow chakra, or the third eye. An effective way to improve intuition is to become friendly with your own body and your own chakra system . . . which is a giant and rich topic to explore! There are many resources to do this on your own, and there is also great value in exploring these topics within a group. A group of people with similar intention creates greater ease in grounding your energy, and a faster acquisition of your new skills. Grace
How can I change my habits?
Dear Grace: I have a history of needing to feel in control of my life. My behaviors, that have assisted me to feel in control of my own feelings and of situations in general, have been at the expense of developing sustaining, nurturing relationships with others as well as with myself. I am trying to recognize and change my behaviors. I am having a difficult time, though, letting go of behaviors and relationships that no longer serve me because I am afraid and often feel vulnerable. Hannah
Dear Hannah: Spend less time trying to disentangle from unhelpful relationships. Instead, identify your nourishing relationships and express gratitude for them. Sometimes as you move toward your Highest Good, people with whom you've had unhealthy connections decide they don't want to have anything more to do with you. The people who leave you may express things about you that feel awful to you. Know that it might not have any basis in the truth, but it's the best way they can make sense out of their need to move away from you. So try not to take it personally. Ask for blessings for them.
Rather than focusing on changing your old behaviors, the recommended approach for you is to imagine the sweetest, most nourishing scenarios for yourself. Put on a play in your mind, and give yourself the most pleasing role you cam imagine. If you feel afraid in your play, give yourself a magnificently colored forcefield that attracts love. Notice how that feels. If you feel too vulnerable in your play, experiment with the power of invisibility. "Less work and more play," say your guides. "How about it?" Grace
Is he the one?
Dear Grace: Will my boyfriend and I get married? Is he the one? Wondering
Dear Wondering: I don’t know. The focus of my work is on the present state of your energy system. When I know what your goal is, I can check to see if it is in your Highest Good. If it is, we can work together to align your energy with the goal and identify whether there are “next steps” for you to take. Grace
