90 Works in Progress
This week I have been feeling restless, in my body and my brain and my emotions. Part of my restlessness is due to being between projects. Although I have not finished, I have reached a stopping point with a large number of related small projects. So I’ve been cleaning my studio and oiling my sewing machine and making attempts to start new projects. I work by intuition, and when I cannot access intuitive information about a project, I know it is not yet time to work on it. I’ve been running into intuition “blanks” on a LOT of things I’d love to be working on lately, which is oh-so-frustrating for me. I’m much more comfortable in the midst of creating than I am when I am between creating processes. So I’ve been waiting. Impatiently.
And then awareness, on the fringes of my consciousness, came to the front. Ah, yes! Two years today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One year ago next week, I received word of a close family member being diagnosed with breast cancer. This week I received word of another close family member, with the same gene mutation that I have, scheduling prophylactic mastectomy for breast cancer prevention. I’d like to delete the beginning of May from next year’s calendar!
Now, I am healthy. My close family members are healthy. All is well. Now. There were some hard experiences, difficult choices, and lots of emotion, between diagnosis and present-day health. We with breast cancer diagnoses have common experiences, but also a very unique combination of experiences and level of intensity. My experience included 3 surgeries over a year and a half, breast reconstruction, 5 months of chemotherapy, removal of my ovaries, and learning about my breast cancer genetic mutation (with ramifications for my daughters and my siblings). It has been a big deal.
Not everyone gets breast cancer. But we all have difficult experiences of one kind or another if we hang around long enough on this planet. It is the nature of life that things change, and that we deal with losses. Aren’t we something—that we keep going, even with our individual hardships? Today, I honor myself. I honor my family members. I honor you. Here we are, lucky enough to be in our bodies, scarred though they may be.
My body knew about these anniversaries before I became conscious about them. Have you had the experience of your body remembering anniversaries before the rest of you realizes it? You are welcome to share your thoughts.
Yes there are times when I get a strange feeling, then realize I’m approaching a certain date of significance that is usually a painful memory. Funny how the subconscious taps into those things. Janet I am so inspired by you with you, and wish you all good things moving forward!
Ah, it’s so interesting how we manage to give ourselves room around things isn’t it? We of course can choose to ignore the little hints or allow ourselves to honor them, which you clearly did Janet. I’m happy to be celebrating you and acknowledge the challenge of the journey that’s brought you to where you are today. And here’s to new inspirations unfolding, old projects coming to joyful conclusion, and more and more magic showing up.
Glad to hear that all is well now with you and family being healthy. What a whirlwind it has been for you. Your mind wanted to forget the month of May but your body remembers. It IS a big deal just as you mentioned. Thanks for sharing your strength with us.